Drawing Near

On Sunday morning, Pastor Matteson gave a sermon on how we are to treat our brothers and sisters in Christ when they sin.  That boils down to how do you or I want to be treated? My first response is with grace, integrity and gentleness.  Sometimes that leads to how do I treat myself when I sin.
    After church I always feel like their is a battle being waged on the homefront which leads me to sin. Sometimes anger gets the best of me.  Given circumstances weren't great, but I definitely needed a dose of self-control.   I yelled, I was selfish, irritable and ugly, everything the fruit of the Spirit isn't.
     I prayed and prayed. God where are you? I knew He was listening, but not instantly responding. I asked for a change of hearts. I cried out "Help me."  By evening time my heart was softer towards my husband, my children and myself.  I'm quite sure it takes me longer to forgive myself than for God to forgive me.
    It's in those moments I am thankful that I can open my heart to God and let him mend me.  As we are to assist in the restoration  of others when they sin, when we sit alone with God, He can restore us.
    Sometimes I think God has to do a radical transformation in our lives as quickly as possible.  In fact I get impatient.  Then I have to remind myself it is His timing that is perfect, not mine.  More importantly those things I go through may be painful and uncomfortable, yet God does work everything out for His glory.  In times of distress I find reasssurance in Romans 8:28.  It might just be my lifetime verse.  I wasn't sure how my fall Sunday could be used for Him, but He did.  I did a lot of thinking and drew nearer to Christ.  So often I get caught up in the daily to-do lists I pull away a bit.  It's not my love for God has decreased, but my communion with my Father takes an unfortunate back seat.
    I was about to fall asleep when I felt I needed to read my devotionals.  Good thing I did because those contained the answers I was looking for.  Satan will find a way to split up unity when he can.  I came to the conclusion that is what happens everytime my family and I are working at strengthening our bonds with one another.  Unfortunately there are days when our guard isn't strong and sin comes in more than "normal".
     I sat on my bed and started asking for Christ to cleanse me. To wash my sin away in His blood, to let His light uncover the darkness in my life.  I've been praying for God to show me, to let me feel the power of the Cross like never before.  My heavenly Father heard, he gave me what I asked for all to His glory. 
    Lord God, May I always remember the power of the Cross, the power of redemption and the power of your love. Amen.