After almost 19 years of taking prescription medications, I QUIT. I am tired of the hassle, the doctor appointments, the cost, but most of all, I am tired of being disappointed. Sooner or later, the body builds immunity to that medication and one is back to searching for a cure. Maybe the quest of the pill is from growing up in a society where everyone wants to pop a pill to right things in their body. Really, the actual problem cannot be addressed by medicine. There is not a quick cure all.
However, I whole-heartedly believe with a holistic approach one can find the path to healing. Let me give you a quick breakdown of my medical history. At the age of 12, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. In high school I was plagued by panic attacks. In retrospect, I wonder how I made it out alive. The depression devoured my being at times. I only wish you could understand. I have been battling it ever since. Nineteen years later, here I sit fighting again. Well, this time I am fighting with my feet firmly planted in good soil and on the Foundation of Christ. That has made the biggest difference. Some of my darkest days were spent in deep communion with Him. I think that is where Jesus became my Friend.
There was a period of three years in my mid-twenties that I was able to handle life without the meds, thanks be to the Lord, no doubt. Unfortunately, that period ended when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Finally, I knew why I was hurting everywhere and found myself taking naps out of a deep need, rather than just a desire to catch up on a few winks from parenting little ones. Three years later, bringing us to the present, the prescriptions stopped working and I was back to square one or so I thought.
Physically within the first day of stopping the meds, I felt good. Some of the daily discomforts vanished almost overnight. I have found before when I tried to stop taking them that my body was benefitting in some regard, therefore, returning to them. This time was different. I fought the nausea that usually takes over if I ran out of the medicine with natural, God-given essential oils. I am still taking those religiously for overall health.
Now on the other side of things, the mental health side...I am struggling. Today was better than yesterday. Yesterday was definitely better than Saturday and Friday. I expected some ups and downs. With my husband by my side, we are riding the waves. I am positive there will be more surf advisories in my near future. There is also the possibility that I may have to return to the doctor for medication. I am praying I don't have to step back into an office to address these issues.
If you or someone you know is struggling, particularly with depression, do not hesitate to seek medical assistance to get you through your journey. I don't condone long-term use, as I have implemented myself, as I now see the effects. I cannot bear the thought of needing a liver transplant at 50 due to the detrimental effects medicine can cause. There is a time and place for medicines. If the doctor can prescribe something that will save your life by all means seek health and gulp it down.
With that said, here is what I am attempting to do. First, I am relying on God for healing. He created this earth, He created me and therefore, reigns over all. As a side note, I am firmly convinced that God has used my illnesses for His glory and for my good. Spiritual strength has abounded and His grace can be seen. Second, I eat a vegan diet (yes, I know meat is for consumption, I just don't agree with the treatment of animals in the so-called farms). My doctor was happy to find I was eating vegan due to the hormone treatments that are given to the animals. My body has enough trouble of its own. I also take an array of supplements and vitamins to balance what my body lacks.
Finally, here is my new adventure: EXERCISE! Laugh, if you will, but for a girl who has been hurting for so long, this is a big deal. Knowing what I do about my body, I must listen to it as I begin slow. Some days, household chores can wreak havoc on my muscles and joints. The great bonus is that exercise is beneficial for depression. I must admit though, when I am suffering from depression I do not want to be anywhere near exercise equipment or running shoes. Ugh!
I am praying that I don't give up too soon, that I can push past the discomfort and live again. For the last three years (actually more, before the diagnosis) I have been held hostage in this body. It is time to shine again! Here is to our health! Happy healing!