In the past six months I have witnessed the decimation of a family. Twenty-plus years of marriage were placed on the sideline. I still am reeling over all the feelings and emotions that have surged through me during this time. I hate to think about the emotions that have rushed through the lives of those directly involved. I can't quite comprehend how people allow selfish lusts and fantasies take hold of their entire world. The question I keep asking myself is: what can I do to help?
I am a total fixer. I hate things broken. If I see any way I can help, well, I try. The best I have been able to muster though is to be a willing listener, advice-giver when asked and prayer warrior. It's seems so trite to say. I wish I could pick the pieces up and glue them back together. I'm not the Holy Spirit though. Hopefully, He will convict the right hearts of those causing the pain.
The hearts broken in divorce are more than one would realize. Not only are the hearts of those directly involved crushed to bits, those external witnesses are desecrated as well. The kids involved especially are hurt, with the possibility of turning to behavioral outbursts, cries for help and/or substance abuse. It's rather ironic. I typed in "divorce and kids- effects,' in my computer search bar. The first article I read states, "kids are resilient.," when it comes to divorce. Really? Okay.
Next, I added the word "Christian" to my search. I found a great article from Focus on the Family. They quoted the results of studies showing that though we may think of kids as resilient, you cannot expect a child not to be negatively impacted from divorce. It's impossible in fact. This same article said the effects will be there 25 years later. Basically the rest of the child's life will be influenced by the trauma of divorce. How can a child feel secure in a world where the family has been ripped apart at the seams?
God wanted a man and a woman to unite as one during marriage. It's not just some legal jargon that is stated during a wedding, you hear vows of a covenant being made between the man, woman and God.
Genesis 2:23-25, "And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."
I would like to believe that when a couple stands in front of the crowd during their wedding, they realize the gravity and beauty of the ceremony that they are partaking of. Marriage isn't a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants deal. It is a lifetime commitment to your beloved. One that is sanctified by our Lord. Too many people take off after the 'worse' part of "for better or worse," comes along. Blessings often come after the couple has worked out the low points during the course of the marriage.
If marriage is a holy ceremony highly esteemed by God, what in the world makes it okay for people to see such little intrinsic value of marriage? I know we are a fallen human race. Yet, it grieves me to see God's Word taken lightly. There are too many shattered hearts, fractured families and broken dreams in our society. It is time to stand up for our beliefs in the Almighty and know He works all for His glory. His Word is inerrant; marriage is holy matrimony.
The only thing in my power to do is pray for this family. Pray for their salvation and for the Light of our Lord to shine in their lives as a beacon of hope.