Not that today has been a "bad" in itself, but I have had a few "melt-down-mommy" moments lately. Of course, I beat myself up about it. Then after that I realize I have a Heavenly Father waiting for me to run to, to accept His open-door invitation. I do. I run into His arms and give it all to Him. He has just witnessed my bad. He hears my sad and then something transforming happens. God's love pours into me, comforts me; reminding me I am a human mom- not superwoman.
How I wish that was different? Imagine never crumbling under pressure or crying until I look like a raccoon. Everything I attempt I could do with gusto and a signature flair. The kids would thank me every instant I was around and my husband would never get annoyed with my habits. Life would be perfect.
Well, I have news for myself. Perfection is not my middle name-not even close. I come back to reality as I look around and there is another laundry heap to tackle, more toys to corral and dinner, oh yeah, dinner....uh, I'll get to that...later. The only choice in the matter that I actually have is: if I am going to be a mother of grace and love or a mother that doesn't realize the inherent value in her job?
My Heavenly Father is perfect and I am not. Case closed. However, my Father has granted me another opportunity to demonstrate His love and grace to my children when they mess up or often when I mess up. When I make a mistake I can try to hide behind a facade and act arrogant or I can choose to admit my faults and witness to my children God's ultimate forgiveness. When they see me pray for forgiveness and see the transformation of my heart they are seeing what God openly offers to all of His children every day.
That is the legacy I want to leave them. Sure the kids will probably remember some tears or words that could have been spoken with a lot more grace and ease. But, more than likely they will remember a mother who is transparent and freely loves and surrenders herself to her Lord over and over again.